Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
