Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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