Are we in a gay sports bar?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
