Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
