Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
