im six kinds of drunk right now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
