I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
