but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
home. puking in laundry basket.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
