Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So much Jack, so little girl.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
