You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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