Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I need moral support for this bender
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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