just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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