i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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