it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
