R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't deserve a penis
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
