During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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