Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
