Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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