I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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