just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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