remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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