I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
