She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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