And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
