i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
