also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
