i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
