Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
