mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
