i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
