he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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