Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize