yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
