Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
