this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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