My first STD was from a foam party
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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