Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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