I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Where did you get a picture of my penis
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
