So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
