You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
