I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
