Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
