worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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