1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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