Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
