I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
