found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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