Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She announced her abortion via fbk
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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