even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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