i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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