and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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