Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
